So today I talked with my wife and we cleared it all up – we are going to live seperately and keep on going on with life as it is – day to day. She wants to move in a new direction with her life and she needs to do this – I can accept that – and I do – and I will also move along with mine.
She wants her freedom, feels chained, wants to make decisions, and become who she is – I am all for that in her life. We may be seperated now but this is something I rushed to judgment on – every day can change every thing. I am sorry about that to her – I forced her hand a bit – and she chose to leave altogether – that was wrong of me.
I also realize that this isn’t ‘the end’ – this is ‘just the way it is’. I will continue to always love her and be a support for her – no matter what decision she decides to make for the next period of time…she may very well need that from me. I accept that this is the way it is – and someday things may change – or they may not – but to call it all so quick without proper time for things to determine their paths is…quick on the draw.
So I will love her to no end – and offer her my support to no limit – as long as this makes her become more whole. Acceptance of this brought peace – for some reason. I know that I love her and that’s a hard thing to forget or turn away from – so I let her know I will not turn away from how I feel (even if she does not have those feelings back). No one really knows what tomorrow holds – but deal with today’s worries for now and let the rest make their direction. I am okay with that…I will live my life in the comfort I can ‘love’.