Acceptance – Hell of a Thing

So today I talked with my wife and we cleared it all up – we are going to live seperately and keep on going on with life as it is – day to day. She wants to move in a new direction with her life and she needs to do this – I can accept that – and I do – and I will also move along with mine.

She wants her freedom, feels chained, wants to make decisions, and become who she is – I am all for that in her life. We may be seperated now but this is something I rushed to judgment on – every day can change every thing. I am sorry about that to her – I forced her hand a bit – and she chose to leave altogether – that was wrong of me.

I also realize that this isn’t ‘the end’ – this is ‘just the way it is’. I will continue to always love her and be a support for her – no matter what decision she decides to make for the next period of time…she may very well need that from me. I accept that this is the way it is – and someday things may change – or they may not – but to call it all so quick without proper time for things to determine their paths is…quick on the draw.

So I will love her to no end – and offer her my support to no limit – as long as this makes her become more whole. Acceptance of this brought peace – for some reason. I know that I love her and that’s a hard thing to forget or turn away from – so I let her know I will not turn away from how I feel (even if she does not have those feelings back). No one really knows what tomorrow holds – but deal with today’s worries for now and let the rest make their direction. I am okay with that…I will live my life in the comfort I can ‘love’.

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10 thoughts on “Acceptance – Hell of a Thing

  1. Man, I am so happy for you that even in this time of uncertainty and separation you are putting love so high on your priority list. It’s inspiring to me. A lot of people let anger rule the day, and it makes me feel so good when I see folks taking the longer, harder and more uncertain road of remaining connected and loving…on whatever level they can…instead of just walking away entirely.

    I don’t know what your future holds, but I have a really good feeling that when things are resolved, however they are resolved, you and she will both be in the best possible place.

  2. “Man, I am so happy for you that even in this time of uncertainty and separation you are putting love so high on your priority list. It’s inspiring to me” (deacon)

    It’s not hard to do – to give love the day – but its very hard to go through I can tell ya that…in me is a pain that cannot be healed.

  3. Societyvs,
    I’m sorry to hear about all this. I’ve been there. Seperated/divorced. I live with it every day and it sucks. I’ll pray for you if you don’t mind. Theological debates aside, I don’t wish this crap on my worst enemy. Marriage is hard though, can be…
    I’m remarried now. God turns mourning into dancing.
    We can debate later on theories etc. Believe it or not they can get a guy through and help. But that may be for another day.
    What deacon Blue says is all fine and dandy, but don’t short circuit your emotions either. I suppose I still love my ex, but in a completely different way. I forgive everyday, even as I ask for forgiveness. But it would be a lie to say that I am not angry towards her, or haven’t also been angry at her. I don’t like who she has turned into either. As time goes on you become more indifferent. The opposite of love is not hate, it is I don’t care. But I do she is my son’s mother so I pray for her, and work on forgiving which isn’t always as easy as it seems.

  4. While this wasn’t the resolution I was hoping you’d receive, I’m at least glad you’re no longer in that limbo state, and thus can make a definite step in healing from this.

  5. I know there’s a lot of pain there too, SocietyVs, and I hope you don’t have to carry it for long…at least not at full strength. I’m just glad it’s not the only defining emotion for you in this situation. I’ve seen some bad situations, and yours is certainly one of them, but many of the others were situations in which both sides decided that tearing into each other whenever possible was the desirable way to go…or one party just ran away and vanished (in one case, with an as-yet-unborn child left behind…and he never went back).

    Marriage is tough and complex and stressful. This split won’t be any easier, but you’re handling it mostly with grace and maturity it seems, and that’s something I hope you and she will both be able to look back at and be proud of.

    I don’t know…I’m not expressing myself well here…so I’ll just stop and say that I wish you all the best and all the strength you need.

  6. Thanks OSS and Deacon – I love that girl more than I love my own life – but this is what I have to go through – this acceptance of what is and not what might be.

  7. sad to hear that it’s taken such a turn.. but your attitude of support is a model.

    theories only get us so far, but the practice of them is what is important.

    rawk out dude.. in whatever way you need.

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