Sometimes U Can Go Back…

So as the world turns – my wife and I have committed to one another again – and have been together for 2 weeks (sometimes tumultous – sometimes plain awesome! Love – who can figure that one out?).

What I learned in my time in the real ‘wilderness’:

  • Don’t think you cannot go back and change things – you can – and you can return to when your love was first born
  • Admit to your every mistake – so you can do something called repentance and atonement – also so that you can change the behavior in you that plain and simple ‘sucks’
  • Don’t sugarcoat the obvious – say it – and put everything on the table
  • Action is everything – words mean only 50% of what it is you want to truly say/show
  • Emotion is a very healthy thing for a guy to embrace and think through
  • I don’t need to be ‘right’ – just loving
  • Life can escape us as we let the years pass – grab each day and make it mean something
  • 3 gifts we give – faith, love, and hope – the greatest of these is ‘love’ – but without the other 2 love stands no real chance
  • Decision and discipline go hand in hand – and being disciplined is not as hard as we might think
  • Being in shape makes life that much better – must be something about loving one’s self that builds self esteem
  • Don’t lose your goals and dreams – without those you become the other person and under their whims (remember even dreams can be shared)
  • Share everything – do not hold back what he/she may need to know
  • Depression and loneliness really suck – but are great teachers
  • Friends and family are very important

Life’s lessons are learned in dark and light places (thanks for that teaching Yael) – I have seen some dark and I have seen some light…and both have motivated me.

You can go back – to those things you remember about your first love (to that exact time)…the building blocks of a great relationship sometimes lay in those ruins untapped.

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8 thoughts on “Sometimes U Can Go Back…

  1. I believe that developing intimacy, not sexual emotional, is most important to advancing a marital relationship. That means honesty as you describe. But it also means sharing your very deep thoughts, the ones that are crazy and make you vulnerable, so that your partner knows more about you than you friends and coworkers. Sounds to me like you are on the right track. Hang in there.

  2. Developing intimacy – good point my man – this is something I also believe about a great relationship (it has to be one of the keys)….something I must work on. Vulnerability – something that opens us up to new relational levels – is scary at times (how much do we put out there?) – but I think it has to exist or the relationship never goes deeper. Thanks Doug.

  3. You have a powerful list there. So much of it is about building connections and communicating, which are key things even when a relationship is in the midst of pain (probably even more so then). Interesting post here: http://blackgirlinmaine.wordpress.com/2009/02/22/marriagethe-real-deal/ that touches on that.

    Self-awareness and self-improvement is so much better than the often empty self-help that is so easily peddled in the marketplace (in books, on TV, etc.)

  4. Glad to see youre back on the ‘marriage’ train. My suggestion is to really take in the beauty of the ride and enjoy the connecting tracks, because we all know once in a while you will get de-railed. 😉

  5. Thanks for the comments everyone – I am very thankful for the encouragment from all directions…and some of the advice…I think I am in a great process of learning and responsiveness.

  6. Wow. Just wow.

    Once again, you made my day, Jason. God is good.

    I haven’t checked in here in some time, so this was a great thing to be greeted by.

    You’re so right about intimacy… may we all practice what you’re preaching here!

    Peace

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