Testify…or Lie

You might find, if you ever become an atheist, that you can handle problems just as well without God, and perhaps even better. Let’s face it, God is just an emotional pillow for us to cry on” (Temaskian)

Truth be told Temaskian – you’re right. I would live pretty much the same life I do now if I decided to declare myself an ‘atheist’…not much would change for me. However, I am not poor anymore either and facing some of life’s hardest struggles…but one time that was me.

So, for me, it’s a matter of a reality check. What do you think got me to this point Temaskian? There is something about having nothing that requires one to have faith – that life can be better than what it is – that pushes one to higher hopes in spite of conditions that range from dire to dangerous. Faith in God provides that – and I admit 100% it ’saved’ me…in the sense I was ’saved’ from the conditions I grew up in and was allowed to be exposed to.

Now faith is all about the things ‘hoped for’…and I reached every single goal I set for myself from when I was 17 and just escaping the hood mentality. I’m 34 now – I am a grown up and life worked out pretty damn good…I got educated, married, own a home, nice vehicles, have a great job, etc. So yes, I could pack it all in and declare – I am now going to be an athiest…truth is I see less need for a God when you live comfortably. I live pretty damn comfortably.

But I always ask myself this (reality check time) ‘would I be where I am today if I did not develop my faith in God?’. Would I treat people the way I do? Would I care as much as I do? Would I have the 1/2 the insight I have developed over time? Would I have even gotten educated? I tend to think none of this would of happened had I not some 17 years ago (as a teen) decided to give faith a chance…this Christian thing.

From all projections I can logically make, from judging all of the other people who I grew up with (some are dead now)…I would have had less education (to none), have a few children (maybe be married – likely not), not actually own much of anything, have a prison record, wouldn’t have developed many of the skills I take for granted now (ie: my personal discipline and writing), may or may not have developed a serious drug problem or another addiction, work trade labor or not have a job, possibly be dead from a variety of violent scenarios, likely be unhealthy, etc.

For me, it makes no logical sense to claim atheism as something to classify myself as. Faith, as much as I am comfortable now, actually helped push me in directions that saved my life – and if I have kids – set their future on a much better path than I knew. I respect people that make the claim to be ‘atheist’ – I cannot make such a claim because for me it would be ‘lying’ about what ‘made me’.

***Originally aired under ‘Finding God’

I have to ask…do many de-converts ignore their past and what part that played in the people they are now? I am proposing the idea the more comfortable one is – the less the need for a God is.