Really? Divorce? (A Re-post From Oct 26, 2009)

“Some Pharisees came to Jesus, testing Him and asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.

They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to GIVE HER A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY?” He said to them, Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery. The disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry.”” (Matthew 19:3-10)

When you read that – what is being said about:

(a) Marriage?

(b) Divorce?

societyvs on October 26, 2009

Here is my take:

(1) This is a test – not resemblance of what the Pharisee’s believed – they just wanted to see Jesus’ answer to such a question (Jesus went to the law with his answer)

(2) Marriage seems to be something committed under God – in which the 2 become 1 and should not be broken up (the ideal)

(3) Moses allowed divorce – this is a known fact

(4) Jesus answers that this has not always been the case (the ideal again)

(5) But if divorce is to be allowed – immorality would be the issue. We can suppose sexual immorality is being hinted here (from previous teachings) but that fact he simply says immorality he could be referring to a number of law breaking ideas that would hurt your neighbor – in this case – your spouse (ie: violence could be an aspect of this).

(6) The disciples respond and mention if the relationship is this bonkers who would want to marry anyways? In which Jesus responds he who can handle such info should note it (seems to be directed more at men – noting a man’s personal responsibility in such an endeavor).

(7) In the end, marriage is a good thing but can become something abhorrent. It is in the cases when things get abhorrent that the ideal should be broken…but not only to re-marry – but for the sake of sanity. Maybe it is also a warning of how much pain can be dealt out if one leaves a marriage for the sake of re-marrying and the bitterness that can be found in that scenario (which makes sense to me). Marriage’s should be ended only for the right reasons and in the right way – so as to ease the pain in the scenario in general.

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7 thoughts on “Really? Divorce? (A Re-post From Oct 26, 2009)

  1. I say thank you to those religious leaders that actually had the testicles to grant divorce in the past and as for the ones that want to tell everyone to remain in their marriages at all cost, well they have never probably been married (priests, Popes, cardinals, etc).

    Modernity is a hell of a thing and the physical and mental demands of the market have really changed the dynamics of marriage. Women are often doubly responsible for not only being equal wage-earners but they are also expected to raise children, prepare all meals, and still be the primary homemakers; Who has time for all that? If anybody deserves the right to divorce it is women.

    As for modern religious officials and divorce, all I can say is that if you honestly think that marriage is sacred then you have never been married for more than a year and your spouse probably believes your bullshit. Marriage is often a struggle and it is not sacred in a any regard, maybe it is to Mormons, fundamentalists, and those stuck in a moral time warp but lets not go there.

  2. all I can say is that if you honestly think that marriage is sacred then you have never been married for more than a year and your spouse probably believes your bullshit.(Johnny)

    Sacred

    Dedicated or devoted exclusively to a single use, purpose, or person: sacred to the memory of her sister; a private office sacred to the President.

    Worthy of respect; venerable.

    Johnny

    As you can see there are more than one definition of sacred. So, for some of us, sacred is a very good term to use. I hope your partner doesnt believe your bullshit. 😉

    • “I hope your partner doesnt believe your bullshit.”

      My wife certainly does not because she happens to have a strong mind of her own and I appreciate that in her. She dissents when she feels it is necessary, that is what I call equality and it is not sacred because it is EXPECTED. I hope that “sacredness” helps you out when you run into actual problems in your relationship. But it will be sacredness that keeps you together it will probably be a mutual respect and/or desire to stay together; you can call it whatever you want but your marriage is not a blessed union, or sacred, to any of the other 6 billion people on the planet and never forget it.

      • She dissents when she feels it is necessary, that is what I call equality(Johnny)

        Exactly what I mean when I use the term sacred. Doesnt have to mean religion. Remember the other definition…..Worthy of respect;venerable. I have a sneaky suspicion that some of the 6 billion people on the planet may agree on that point. 🙂

  3. “If anybody deserves the right to divorce it is women.” (Johnny)

    It’s true (in general). I have started to help more around the house with laundry, cleaning, and everything else. The wife still does more (to be honest)…but I am trying more and more to be a ‘homebody’.

    “Marriage is often a struggle and it is not sacred in a any regard, maybe it is to Mormons, fundamentalists, and those stuck in a moral time warp but lets not go there.” (Johnny)

    Marriage can be tough (true) and it is a struggle from time to time…but that doesn’t mean it isn’t invaluable?

  4. If we’re trying to be faithful to the quoted passage then I think you’re missing something important in your second point. Not only is marriage where 2 become 1 under God, but (and this seems important in the quoted passage) it’s between a man and a woman. In the passage Jesus says that God created them male and female *so that* the male could leave his parents and be joined to the female in marriage.

    Perhaps this was implicit in your point but I was curious as to why you left that bit out as it seems important in the context of the given quotation (at least important enough for Jesus to mention it).

    Thoughts?

  5. “Perhaps this was implicit in your point but I was curious as to why you left that bit out as it seems important in the context of the given quotation (at least important enough for Jesus to mention it).” (JT)

    I have commented on this quite a few times – the 2 become 1 idea (so I didn’t say much about it this time). However, I think I will address it now.

    I agree, they are created male and female (only two kinds of humans that I know of)…and ideally they would connect as ‘one’ on a few levels:

    (1) Sexually
    (2) Children
    (3) Companionship/Committment/Sharing

    When I view marriage I always start with this lense about ‘2 becoming 1’. It is true the 2 people will leave their parents home and ‘start their own home’ – as a new couple. This action involves both people coming into contact with one another on a new deeper level…as a co-sharing unit (a family).

    Now although God created them male and female from the start (Adam and Eve) this does not mean a gay couple cannot enjoy the joy of marriage. They may not be able to have children together (which is the sexual action mentioned in 2 become 1)…they can however share in the idea of committment and sharing as ‘one’. Which seems to be the actual glue of the marriage anyways.

    I believe the ideal is what the church (in general) is fighting for (male and female) and they are not accepting of the differences to that ideal (gays). But this is not exactly an ideal world and we need to get ‘real’ about these issues I believe.

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